One of the best sermons I have ever heard was by Brady Boyd; he is the pastor of the church I attended while I lived in Colorado Springs. He spent weeks going through Psalm 23, he went verse by verse and when we got to verse 4 (...even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil...) he said something that will stay with me forever: "...in this life we will walk through dark valleys. Sometimes these valleys can be an hour long, a day long, a yearlong, who knows, but just because you are in a valley doesn't mean you get to pitch your tent there." Every day I am forging through valleys and trying even harder to not be tempted to "pitch my tent".
This is the first time in my life that I have recognized satan taking a personal interest in seeing me fail. For weeks and months I have been spiritually strong and, I believe, right where the Lord has intended me to be and now with just weeks left before Henry makes his grand entrance all of this overwhelms me sometimes to the point of tears. I want to pitch my tent, I need rest and I am growing weary of this spiritual battle.
But this is what I love about my God: just when my will is failing me - He picks me up. I went to church this past Sunday just completely drained because the end of last week was a tough one. I have always been a person that gets more out of worshiping through music than any other part of the service. The opening song on Sunday was "Whom Shall I Fear" by Chris Tomlin. I would have dropped to my knees in praise after the very first verse, but I knew I probably wouldn't have been able to get my very pregnant self up gracefully, so I stood with arms outstretched praising 'the God of angel armies' with tears rolling down my cheeks.
I am human, my strength is going to fail me. Yes, pitching my tent would be the easy way out. It would be easy for me to get angry over little things, be bitter at what's been thrown our way or to just completely shut down, but who wants to live like that? That's not a life I want for me, my marriage or for my children. I have to be on guard, which at times can be the hardest thing in the world to muster up strength for, and satan knows it. I have learned to spot satan when he is tempting me to pitch my tent and I drown out his annoying little voice with the song above or one of my favorite scriptures: "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you." 2 Chronicles 20:17.
I have learned three very important lessons this last few weeks: one, sometimes forging through a valley doesn't mean just taking it one day at a time; it sometimes means taking it a minute at a time. Two, we may find ourselves in valleys more then we'd like, but while we're there we have to keep moving forward and keep looking and listening for God to encourage us through whatever it is we have found ourselves in. And three, I have found that when you go up against the enemy armed with the sword and shield of the Lord he backs off rather quickly. 'Through trouble linger still, whom shall I fear?' Absolutely nothing because my strength is found in the name of the Almighty.
-Erin-
