Out in Public.

So this past Thursday I got brave. Real brave -- and decided to take Oliver and Henry out by myself for the first time. We went to a place in Louisville that Oliver loves called All About Kids I figured it would be the easiest place to take them by myself since I could wear Henry and then Oliver would be well entertained by the bouncy houses and the open gym.

Everything went pretty well, with the exception of a few questions about "the thing on Henry's head" -- but more on that in a minute, until it was almost time to go. I love my boys but this tag team business started way earlier than I had anticipated. Henry decided in grand fashion to have the nastiest diaper explosion of his life at the very same time Oliver decided to have a melt down of epic proportions because it was time to leave. Once I got Henry cleaned up and Oliver happy with some juice I started looking for my keys. I tore through the diaper bag and those blasted keys were no where to be found. I hate that feeling. Sheer panic started to set in. What in the world was I going to do? How were we going to get home? My Kroger plus card had enough points for 30 cents off the gallon -- and now it's with my keys in the land of lost!

So I put everything back in the diaper bag and we found our way to the front desk. At this point I had myself so worried that we were going to be stranded that the woman behind the counter looked at me with such pity. I am pretty sure&nbsp my eyes were welling up with tears, alas, no one had turned in any keys. Please keep in mind I had taken Henry out of our ergo baby carrier so I had it, our diaper bag which is a back pack, Henry and Oliver  somehow with just my two hands. I am sure it was a sight.  We headed to the car praying that my keys were locked inside of it and to my surprise they were not locked in the car because the car wasn't locked. My keys were still in the ignition. Oh. My. Word. I had left my keys in the ignition for a little over 2 hours. Here I was thinking I had this whole mom of 2 children thing down pretty well. Humble pie much? Thankfully we were in a safe part of town where no one was interested in stealing my cheerio and gold fish laced sedan.

So the biggest take away of the day is to always-- ALWAYS-- put the keys in the diaper bag before I get anyone out of the car no matter the whining, the rush or the smell. But the other thing that I took away from our outing is that being Henry's mom also requires me to be an educator. It is something that I have been praying about since Henry's birth and had been anticipating/dreading the day that it would happen. Henry's shunt and the tubing that accompanies it is very noticeable right now because Henry has no hair and, while he is a chubster, his head has little fat to disguise or hide the valves. I want to handle the questions that people have about Henry with as much grace as possible. Most of the mothers we encountered while at All About Kids  didn't ask anything; they just stared at him and at me which I almost think is worse. I assure you it is extremely difficult to remain graceful when another mother looks at you and then points to your child and says "what's that on his head?" Trying not to give it too much thought I dove right in to why Henry has a shunt and what Spina Bifida is. I would give them a few sentences and then if they had more questions I went where they wanted to take the conversation.

Once people know what the shunt it all about they either become more curious about Spina Bifida than I would have thought or they talk about their second cousin on their mother's side that dealt with Spina Bifida 25 years ago. But I feel like all anyone really wants to know about Henry is "well can he walk?" Let me just throw this out there ... I have never met a 2-month-old that can walk. :) I know people will have questions and I know that they won't always know how best to ask them so it is my hope and prayer that as our family becomes ambassadors for Spina Bifida that we do it well. I found this verse a few weeks ago and after our little outing it's a scripture that I believe needs to go in the "stack to be memorized". It's a good reminder that whatever our speech it must be with grace.

^"Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person" Colossians 4:6 

I mean aside from our little diaper explosion, melt down and lost keys extravaganza it was a pretty good trip and it severed well as a way to completely exhaust both my children. Oliver from bouncing all over the place and Henry from being on stimulation overload with all the lights and sounds of toddlers running around. Oh what an adventure it is going to be to be the mother of these two boys.

On the way home I captured this great video of Oliver trying desperately to stay awake and eat his snack, but in the end sleep won out and it was hilarious.

-Erin-

The Circus Train

When we moved into our home I wasn't sure how I would like having a double train track just behind the privacy fence. For the most part you get so used to the trains that sometimes you don't even realize they are there and I haven't had a train wake me up in the night for a good 6 months. But this week having train tracks in our backyard became cool for all of about 15 minutes as Oliver and I stood outside and literally watched the circus come to town.

I feel like seeing the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus Train in your backyard is a once in a lifetime thing so I did what any mother would do -- I woke Oliver up from his nap (I paid for it later) but we watched, and waved and we talked about Elephants and the "animal train" for the rest of the day.

 

-Erin-

North I-71...again.

Bringing Henry home was amazing; it was nothing like I could have imagined. I also couldn't imagine that just 4 days after returning home to my family Nathan and I would be headed back to Cincinnati.

To say I was frustrated about driving back up to Cincinnati is an understatement. 4 days we got to spend as a semi-normal family, just 4 days and it was heartbreaking to leave --again. For reasons unknown Henry's incision opened nearly 3 weeks post op. I have a pretty strong stomach when it comes to things that are considered gross but this was like nothing I had ever seen in my life and nothing a mother should ever see in her child. Thanks to modern technology I was able to send pictures to Henry's neurosurgeon and got a call within about 15 minutes of emailing the pictures and when I answered the phone he said "get in the car, now". 

So Henry's neurosurgeon and a plastic surgeon took him back into the OR for a third time to revise his incision and we stayed inpatient for another 8 days. This hospital stay was VERY different. We didn't get to go back to the NICU we went to the neurosurgery floor which meant I didn't leave Henry alone -- ever.  I slept, ate, showered, lived in his hospital room this time. I still think I am trying to catch up on the sleep I missed. Any one who has spent a night in a hospital will tell you that sleep is a sweet commodity; nurses coming in at all hours, waking up to feed and cath, taking showers at 2 am because you don't want doctors doing rounds at 6am to see you in your pajamas looking like a crazy woman become totally normal. Unlike the anticipation of bringing Henry the home the first time this time around I just felt so discouraged. 

This post would be a complete lie if I didn't acknowledge that there were several moments of this stay that I tried throwing myself a pity party. It wasn't fair. There was one night while Henry and I were there -- it was a Monday-- this particular night I was working on all the arrangements for said pity party and I remember just crying. Nathan had left the day before and I just felt helpless, alone and exhausted.  I began asking, out loud, for the Lord to send me a sign that I wasn't alone in all of this.  I needed to know that God had been hearing my prayers and that my son was going to be ok, that we were eventually going to get to go home and that some how He had not forgotten me-- that this was some how part of His plan. 

I felt led to play some music while Henry was eating at some point late that night or early the next morning so I just hit "shuffle" on my phone and what happened next was nothing short of God showing up. I had heard the song "Sing Along" by Christy Nockels a hundred times before but never before had I HEARD it like I heard it that night. 

I felt like a captive in that hospital room, I felt alone, it seemed dark but hearing this song on that night God gave me all that I needed. "From the farthest corners of the earth/ still His mercy reaches", I needed the Lord to sing to me that night, I needed to hear His heart, I needed a God sized hug, I needed to know that He had heard my cries and that He would give me the strength to keep singing and to sing along to His song. 5 minutes and 44 seconds was all I needed to be refreshed, refilled and the knowledge that indeed God hadn't forgotten us but that He was singing over us the entire time.

"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

 

-Erin-

 

 

 

Home.

On March 14, 2013 we received Henry's discharge papers. We knew the day before that the following morning in rounds they would give us the all clear but we didn't tell anyone but a few family members because if I learned anything in the NICU it's that you take it a day at a time and I didn't want to tell the world we were coming home until Henry was buckled into his car seat. 

Rounds always started around 7:30 in the NICU and I wanted to be there for Henry's last rounds and I am so glad I was. If you have never experienced rounds before -- it's something. There can be up to 12 doctors and therapist that come around with their computers on stands and review each baby. Though out our stay in the NICU we called them the "MD Calvary" because that's exactly what it looked like. The resident "presents" Henry to the attending doctors and they talk over every single aspect of his case, his condition, his recovery right down to his big brother's name. Thinking about Henry's last rounds still brings tears to my eyes. Hearing "If there are no other questions then Henry Hinson is cleared for discharge and is to be released this morning to his mom and dad... ladies and gentleman of the G-pod, Henry Hinson is going home!" Then anyone that was within ear shot clapped and I of course cried.

Henry had never been off the monitors, had never been more then a few feet from a trained nurse or doctor, God love him the boy had never even worn pants before and now, just like that, we were taking him home. It seemed so surreal to watch the elevators doors close and realize that Henry was with me in the elevator wire free and buckled in a car seat. The first major chapter of Henry's story was ending and it was a wee bit terrifying to think I had never spent a full 24 hours with this little guy and we were about to dive head first into a life of 2 am feedings, endless diaper changes, life with two kids, and he would be free of monitors, nurses, doctors.

We were headed south on I-71 roughly 80 miles to the land of a new normal.

After an hour and a half in the car we pulled into our drive way the sun seeemed to be shinning so brightly that day. Oliver had been napping so when we got home I was able to go into his room and wake him up. His little first was full of excitement and a little confusion because I had been gone for 5 weeks, so who knows what he was actually thinking when he saw me.  Oliver wasn't able to see anything more than pictures of Henry so we had no idea how he would react. I don't even have the words to describe their first meeting -- just joy. Watching Oliver meet Henry for the first time is a moment that I will spend an eternity praising the Lord for.

I am so thankful that my mother-in-law and that my very talented friend Whitney of Whitney Knutson Photography were there to capture the moment on video and amazing pictures so that the boys will have that moment forever.

Welcome home, Henry.  (YouTube Video)

 

 

-Erin-