Sometimes you just gotta put on the monkey costume...

This is Oliver's first real Halloween. He was a monkey. A really, really cute monkey. However, the very first time I tried putting the monkey costume on him it took me an hour. He was mad and wanted no part of becoming a monkey. I was mad and was determined not to be out done by my 22-month-old. He kept saying screaming "all done mommy, all done mommy!" He put up a good fight but in the end I did what every mother does at some point, I bribed him. I promised him a horse, candy, a bounce house, a pumpkin, more candy - I was desperate.  But even after getting him in the costume he still wasn't happy about it. Because, quite frankly, the kid is smart, he knew there was a good possibility that mommy was pulling his leg in one of her ridiculous stunts, and that there might not be a horse or candy or a bounce house.

Exhibit A:

This picture makes me laugh every single time I see it.

Ultimately, I was very thankful that all these things were actually at the fall festival and Oliver did realize very quickly that the monkey costume meant that people would give you candy. Dum-Dum Suckers are his biggest weakness.  As the weeks went on and we would tell him it was "monkey time" he would run to his room and wait patiently to put that monkey costume on because he knew what was coming. He didn't know how long it was going to take for us to get to the festival, trunk or treat, the zoo, etc... but he knew that when we got there there was going to be good stuff awaiting him, quite possibly dum-dums would be involved.

Our Very Happy Monkey

Today I felt much like Oliver the first time he saw me coming towards him with that monkey costume. I wanted no part of today. I didn't sleep very well last night, thanks in part to a trick-or-treater that rang our doorbell at 8:45pm and woke Oliver up. I have also spent 7 days talking and thinking about Spina Bifida. I have spent 7 days with people looking at me with sorrow in their eyes, and questions on their minds. Today I didn't want to talk about Spina Bifida.   Today I was tired both physically and emotionally, I was cranky and not very talkative. I think, for the most part, I was content to stay that way. I wanted to dwell and wallow, which is normally so not like me. And then I was reminded of a saying my mom just LOVES to throw out there when things aren't going our way: "no matter what, every day we must choose joy".  I was not doing a very good job of being joyful today, let alone making any attempt to actually try to choose joy.

So I did the only thing I know how to do, I prayed and went looking for comfort in God's word. Please keep in mind it took me much of the day to even realize that my attitude needed a God sized intervention or it was going to be a very long night before I could finally be one with my pillow again. So I began to read and then like a spiritual 2X4 upside the head the Lord reminds me: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Ummm, yeah humble pie for one, please.

Spina Bifida will always have a place in our lives, I don't think there is ever going to be an occasion that I can just run and hide from it. I also know that Satan would just love to have me stay in the pit, but I know better than that. Spina Bifida will always be a part of us now because as Henry's parents we chose to love him no matter what the day we found out we were expecting. Whatever may come, he is ours and there is joy in that.

So it's been 7 days and we still have very little answers and there are a lot of questions. But just like Oliver didn't know how long it was going to take for us to get him to the candy, he knew that as long as he had the monkey costume on candy was a-comin', I may never understand this side of heaven why Henry has Spina Bifida or why we were chosen as his parents, but if we remain faithful and choose to see the joy in this journey we will find joy and there will be many blessings along the way.

-Erin-